As I Dream

As I lay receding into my mind, my thoughts always seem to wander back to you, there’s always something new to thing about, our future, our past, our now and whenever. Daydreams come and go, some so simple and real, to those most wonderfully outrageous.There’s been times when you've said things..without realizing, that rip me apart inside, an effect nobody has had before. without realizing, you have the power to shatter my world...my very existence...I must be a glutton for punishment...always checking, always hoping...You anger becomes me pain and your sadness my downfall, yet I cant stop thinking about you.. I've tried so hard...So hard to find my way without you...but I always seem to end up back where we began. It's like a circle, feeding my desire and my pain...My worst moments with you...my best in your presence..So I lay here, when sorrow comes in liquid drops, and work up the courage not to care anymore. I call for you...in simple words, meant both as a hello...and a farewell, expecting nothing in return, for you to be gone forever-may forever be so short.But...You reply..Startled, I look down. The voice of hope saying it's really you, but fear gives way to denial and I turn away..But I'm a glutton....I look..It's you.My very essence implodes from joy, of happiness. a feeling so intense, no words would dare to describe it. Fit to burst, my soul lifts from my body as I reply, Speaking only what comes to mind, too caught to care. What you say in return brings me to a new height, joy seeping from my eyes..Eventually I know the cycle will return...but in this moment, I chose to swim in my joys, wallowing in each second.When you wither, I once again recede into my mind, enveloped in my thoughts of you.The more time passes...the further I have to reach to find you.. Day by day...the warmth slips awayMy feet keep wandering, not going or coming...only pacing..Searching for a release from the watching...from the waiting...Until my love will return to me once more..